My Husband Wants a Divorce – Examine Your Role in Your Marriage through Six Questions

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My husband wishes for a divorce”; that is a hard fact you have to accept regardless of whether you like it or not. Yet, it doesn’t have to ended that way. Here’s six questions you should consider to help you save your crumbling marriage.

Before the darkness of the night puts her into pensive mood, she looks at the ring around her finger. It was right there at the porch where he proposed to her. No, it wasnt like the movies. He brought nothing else to make the ambiance more romantic but still, she found it the sweetest thing he had done for her. But as she stares at the ring again, a teardrop falls onto her hand. Theyve had big fights recently. Musing on his gestures, justifications and preferences, she concludes, “My husband wants a divorce.”

Giving in to separation seems to be the easiest way out. But a wife who values the sacrament of matrimony will ask herself how she can satisfy her husband in different ways. In evaluating her role in their union, she must answer the questions stated below.

Do you thank him for addressing your familys needs?

Mens role in our society centers on providing for their families. Centuries ago, they go hunting in the forest and bring food for their families. Presently, with our gender fair programs, it may not be as emphasized as before but still, they would like to attain that feeling of accomplishment and pride for attending to the needs of his loved ones.

Do you give him enough silence?

Women tend to talk much more than men. When they are strained, confused or contemplative, they need minutes to think by themselves. Though this makes them difficult to figure out, they consider the quiet time golden. If he doesnt feel like chatting, dont force him. Though he isnt verbally communicating, he is still thinking.

Do you directly say what you want?

Another difference between men and women is how they convey their message. The former are straightforward while the latter beat around the bush. This unlikeness causes serious arguments and worse, it makes some wives say, “My husband wants a divorce.” Refrain from making long introductions or from letting him read between the lines always. Cut your introductions short and dont let him decipher your coded words. As much as you can, dont be ambiguous. You can still do it with tact.

Do you sometimes make the first move in lovemaking?

Lets face the fact that sex is important for men. Women who are boring in bed disappoint them. If you are too tired to make love, all you have to do is explain and be understood. Moreover, men dont want to be in the driving seat always. They want their partners to do their share of first moves as well. By the way, men love sexy underwear.

Do you let him hang out with his friends?

Like women, men need the company of friends. Talking about sports, cars, art and current events over some bottles of booze makes them realize there is a world outside their home. Dont get easily jealous with the time he spends with his friends. Otherwise, hell think you want to control his life.

Are you lonely and bewildered about a relationship breakup and want help to get your ex back

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You already know how grueling it is to just wake up and roll out of bed in the morning. You leave your radio off on your way to your job because every song is a painful reminder of him. You can’t even bear to eat at the same restaurants you took her to. And if that isn’t bad enough, you have to deal with the loss of friends and family that are on “their side”. But here’s some good news… Most relationships CAN be salvaged! You may find it difficult to believe that almost every break up for whatever reasonbetrayal, plain old lost passion, loss of interest, a stolen heart and worse…even the worst situations you could conceivelike men serving prison terms have salvaged their relationships. Yes, even Ex-convicts have reunited with girlfriends and wives after being away for years! It doesn’t matter if you were the one that got left or did the leaving your pain is real and can be healed. Find out everything you need to know to feel better within twenty-four hours. It’s true you could be feeling significantly better one day from today. The Magic of Making Up System can… Show you how to take COMPLETE CONTROL OF THE BREAK UP and make your ex become extremely attracted to you and want to have sex with you every day of the week! Yes it is realistic with “The Instant Reconnect Technique” (my favorite technique). You can use these secrets right now to make your ex Come CRAWLING BACK TO YOU on their knees while they are begging you to take them back! However, I must STRONGLY CAUTION YOUthe advice and techniques are VERY unconventional. Relationship counselors get REALLY ANGRY because they are charging a lot of money (sometimes for months and even years) and you could do just one of the procedures in the book And next thing you know… youre back together with your ex. I just don’t believe that any amount of sitting in a classroom can make up for the REAL WORLD experience that you will learn. Human psychology plays a big part in the approach to getting back with an ex. Unconventional techniques and relational psychology is a large part of the Magic of Making Up. It will lead you toward a recovery just like thousands of other separated people have experienced. Your pain could be gone, faster than you can begin to imagine, forever, if youre willing to follow the system. How would it feel to wash away your pain, to remove the knot eating you up from the inside? “Do you want all the magical behavior controlling advice to get your ex back?”

Adjusting To Your Divorce

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Parenting through divorce presents new and changing relationships for everyone. Adjusting to the process of letting go of the concept of the two-parent family and accepting the idea of new relationships takes time. Take the time to go slow when initiating a new relationship to give children time to deal with different lifestyles and eventually the possibility of an extended family. Rushing into dating may be viewed by your child as competition for your love and attention. Old fears of abandonment may surface as the fantasy dissolves that the divorcing parents will unite. As a result of the divorce, some children lose trust in adults and are slow to accept a new adult into their life. It is important to talk to your children about their feelings and their role in the new step-family. Communication, reassurance, and time will help your child make the needed adjustment.

Before dating, give your children enough time to adjust to the idea that mom and dad will be seeing other people. Make your activities with your date a part of a group function. Starting your social life with friends the children already know may also help them get the point that you are dating. In the beginning of a new relationship, meet your dates away from home to avoid having a number of different people in your home and your child’s life. Your child had lived through difficult changes and should not be asked to adjust to something else this significant unless it is necessary. Choose with care whom you let get close to your family. Before you introduce them, let your children know the nature of your relationship. Begin with a few short outings to take the pressure off forced conversation. If it looks as if the relationship will be long term, outings can gradually become longer. It is important to reassure your children of your love for them. They are less likely to accept someone they perceive as a threat to their relationship with you. It is crucial that they know that the person is not a replacement for their absent parent.

Collaborative Divorce — breaking up doesn’t have to mean breaking the bank

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The collaborative process, started by Minneapolis family lawyer Stuart Webb in 1990, provides alternative dispute resolution using a team of professionals working jointly for the couple, rather than in adversarial roles. It is just now hitting the radar screen in Illinois, where practitioners estimate that about 300 divorces have been handled this way in the last several years. The state averages about 35,000 divorces a year, records show.

Both parties agree not to enter litigation. Couples often hire attorneys trained in collaborative law and bring in shared accountants, financial planners, business valuation experts, child psychologists and even life coaches to help the couple. Unlike impartial mediators, the attorneys can advise their clients as advocates.

Proponents say it dramatically cuts the tension–and the costs–involved in traditional contested divorces.

There are skeptics, however. Among the critics are those who say the peacefulness of the process encourages divorce and attorneys who say the best representation for any divorcing spouse is a vigorous offense.

Participants in a collaborative divorce sign documents promising to disclose all assets, and their attorneys agree to walk away from the case if the parties end up going to trial.

An average contested divorce can run about $30,000, but it’s not uncommon for some to reach six figures, attorneys say.

Collaborative costs vary widely, depending on the number of professionals involved and the number of meetings it takes for spouses to agree on a settlement. Collaborative attorneys estimate that most of these cases settle for half to a third of what their bill would have been with a court battle. Settlements must be reviewed and approved by a judge.

Costs ranged from $5,000 to $21,000, representing as high as 15 percent of annual household income.

Even friendly divorces come with costs that reach beyond the courtroom, however, and women especially tend to feel the strain. Divorce Magazine reported the drop in standard of living for women after divorce was 45 percent in 2000. About 20 percent of people filing personal bankruptcy had been recently divorced, according to Harvard University law professor Elizabeth Warren, who has studied families in dire financial straits since 1986 and who is considered one of the leading national authorities on bankruptcies.

Your staff: In addition to consulting attorneys, divorcing couples are turning to specialized financial planners to run living cost estimates, decide the value of family businesses and prepare investment return projections on proposed settlements.

Typically these are accountants, certified financial planners or other financial advisers who offer a specialized divorce practice. Someone who has a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation has also taken a self-study course and completed four exams related to divorce finances, but be sure to inquire what other credentials he or she has. Training is done through the Institute for Divorce Financial Analysts in Southfield, Mich. (800-875-1760).

If you’ll need help valuing assets or a business, or suspect your future ex may be hiding money you also may need to contact a forensic accountant.

If you are the primary breadwinner but are considering a lower-paying job as you go through the divorce transition years, tread carefully. Some judges will require you to maintain your family’s previous standard of living. A judge may rule you’re more than capable of a high earning power and decide to award less alimony.

Your portfolio: If you think you’ll have to draw down some retirement money to cover expenses in the first few years of divorce, do it sooner rather than later, this way you can take a distribution at the time of divorce without a penalty,

Your tax return: Be sure to consider the tax consequences of your divorce settlement. The more money a primary breadwinner doles out as alimony instead of child support, the more he or she can deduct from income, experts say. The spouse receiving the alimony will have to pay income taxes on the money, but usually it will be at a lower tax bracket. Child support, on the other hand, isn’t deductible from income.

How To Find The Best Philadelphia Divorce Lawyer

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The end of a marriage can be painful, frustrating and emotionally taxing and is seldom a good experience. In such tough times, however, it is all the more important to make sure the process doesn’t produce any more bitter moments and that the separation goes off as smoothly as possible.

Because people are not really in the right frame of mind, they make decisions that can adversely affect them in the long term and the consequences can be quite bitter. This is why it is very important to find a good divorce lawyer. This guide will help you find the right Philadelphia divorce lawyer for your case, so that you can leave the tough decisions during the divorce to the professionals and let them handle your case, instead of you taxing yourself even more.

Divorce is not only painful but it can be incredibly complex with a host of issues coming up during the separation, right from children to finances and property distribution. There can be many complications involved in each of these. Therefore, you should let the best Philadelphia divorce lawyers handle your case so that you don’t need to stress more and your case can proceed smoothly. Taking the time off to research and find the best Philadelphia lawyers will greatly help your cause and will surely be worth the time and effort spent in trying to find one.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR?

So the simple question is, how do you find the best Philadelphia divorce lawyers to fight your case? There are several things that you will need to look at while choosing the right lawyer.

*Experience: Experience is important for a divorce lawyer because there is a lot of learning from the practical cases and not just books. Divorce can take unexpected turns during the case. If your lawyer has enough experience in the field, then he will be ready for anything the other party throws at you, and thus be able to protect you and serve your interests better.

Make sure that your lawyer is well experienced not just in terms of the number of years he has been practicing law but also the number of divorce cases he has handled over his career. Experience in this particular field is important.
Another important thing to note is that different states can have very different divorce laws and a lawyer who has been practicing in one state for a long time might find it difficult if he suddenly takes up a case in a new state. You would ideally like your lawyer to have worked and have the experience in your state.

*Specialization: It is best to entrust the complex issues of divorce to an expert who specializes in this field. It is thus important to find a lawyer who specializes in divorce and family law. Experience can be important in divorce because a lot of potential complexities might arise during the case. Thus it is best to entrust your case to someone who really knows about this in depth.

This might seem to be obvious and straightforward, but unfortunately it is not – the process of finding a specialized lawyer is also complex! This is mainly because there is no standardized legal definition of a ‘specialist’ and thus any lawyer can claim that he is a divorce specialist.

However, you would want the best Philadelphia divorce lawyer who is actually an expert in this field. This can be accomplished in several ways. One way is to talk to your potential lawyer directly about your concerns and he should understand. Then, he should be able to substantiate his claims of being a specialist divorce lawyer. Another way is to approach law firms that specialize in divorce. This way you can be sure you have the right lawyer working for you who understands your situation and your pain and can help you out throughout the process.

*Secondary Skills: Secondary skills are important in certain cases of divorce when there is much at stake apart from the usual. For example, many divorces can get financially messy and it can take a lot of time and effort to sort them out. In fact, financial considerations are very important during any divorce and if you have sizable investments tied up, then you should make sure that you have not only the best Philadelphia divorce lawyer but also someone who is well versed in financial troubles of a divorce.

The secondary skills that a lawyer will require will depend on your particular case and is usually hard to generalize. However, you will need to decide what other problems your divorce might be facing and then choose your lawyer accordingly.

*Flexibility: Flexibility for a divorce lawyer is very important because of the uniqueness that each case presents. The way you and your ex separated has a lot of bearing on the case. No one likes court cases and lengthy legal proceedings unless absolutely needed. If possible, it is best to reach a settlement out of court and the best Philadelphia divorce lawyers understand this.

Of course, at the same time, your lawyer should be ready to get tough if your interests are threatened and need to be protected. Therefore the right mix of mediation and aggressiveness is required in a divorce lawyer and he should be able to change his advice and strategy according to your particular case.

WHAT TO ASK

It is very important that you get the best Philadelphia divorce lawyers working on your case and for this you will need to question them on various aspects that relate to your case at hand. This should greatly help you narrow down your choices and ultimately choose the right lawyer for your case.

Asking questions is important before the initial consultation for several reasons. Firstly, you should be able to select just the right lawyer for your case who not only has all the qualities that have been outlined above but who is also a good fit for your case, who shares your own vision, direction and approach for your case. This will ensure compatibility during the case and you can work together instead of working against each other. There are many cases when people want to change lawyers in the middle of the case, which can be quite a problem. Therefore it is important to select the right lawyer from the start.

Secondly, lawyers charge initial consultation fees so you should be able to gather all the relevant information before this so that you can make up your mind. When you ask these questions, it is always advisable to write down the answers because it will be easier to compare with other lawyers.
It is good to meet with a few lawyers before deciding upon the final one for your case, to select the best fit. When you question all the lawyers that you meet, you will know their strengths and weaknesses as relating to your case, and then you can weigh them to finally decide which lawyer will be best suited to handle your case.

*Expertise: As mentioned earlier, it is important for a lawyer to be an expert in divorce cases and not just overall experience. Thus inquire about what percentage of the cases handled by that lawyer were related to divorce and family law. Also inquire about how many years he has been working in this specific area and also whether he is practicing in the state or out of state.
It also helps to look at the educational or other qualifications. Certainly a Harvard law graduate is more likely than not to be a great lawyer. Look for any certification or training or other kinds of specializations that are in the family law and divorce area.

Also ask about recent cases and let him tell you about a case that was similar to yours, so that you can have the confidence that this person will be able to handle your case. Also, look for any other kinds of requirements like financial cases, etc. that may be relevant to you.

*Availability: Availability is an important issue to look for in any lawyer. It is not just good enough if the best Philadelphia lawyer is working on your case but is unable to really concentrate and spend time on your case. Therefore you should inquire about the lawyer’s current caseload and whether he will be able to take on your divorce case.

At this stage, it is also important to make sure that it is really the lawyer that you are talking to who is ultimately responsible and who takes up your case. There are various people at a law firm that will also work on your case and you should ask about them as well, etc. paralegal staff, associate staff, interns, etc. Make sure that your lawyer is the one ultimately responsible for everything.

Also, you should inquire about how often you can meet him and how long he estimates the case to take. Also, make sure that you are able to meet with not only his associates but also him as and when required. It is good to meet and interact with everyone working on your case, but when needed, you should be able to talk to your lawyer directly.

Finally, ask about how you can contact him – through phone or email and stick to it. Many lawyers might find email to be more convenient than a phone call unless it is an emergency, but you should be equally comfortable with that particular mode of communication.

*Fees: This is a very important part of deciding on your lawyer because you do not want to be spending a fortune. You should be able to get an estimate of what it will cost, overall. To all the lawyers that you meet, you should firstly ask about their hourly rate and also how it is charged. Some lawyers keep track of the exact time while others sell their time in chunks of 10 or 15 minutes. This may not seem significant but can make a sizable difference to your bill.

Then you should ask about all the additional people you will need to pay, like secretaries, accountants, etc. that directly or indirectly work on your case. This can form a significant part of your bill, so make sure this issue is cleared up in advance. Also ask for any additional professionals that you may require on the case who will also need to be paid, like psychologists or detectives.

Ask the lawyer to keep the fee structure straightforward and tell you all the expenses that you will need to incur. Do you have to pay for the photocopies? Do you have to pay for any additional services during the case? How are the fees handled if the case goes to trial? All these need to be cleared up before you can decide on one particular lawyer.

If you follow all the above advice, you will be able to have a great lawyer working on your case so that your divorce process can be as smooth as possible, mitigating any other possible sources of stress that you might have to face. The best Philadelphia divorce lawyers are ready to work for you, so you should make the most of their skills and expertise.

Consult for divorce in Monmouth County NJ divorce

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Divorce in NJ – Lessening its Impact

Divorce in New Jersey has consistently remained as one of the lowest divorce rates in the US. Despite the increasing rate of divorce in the US at 4.95 per 1,000 people in 2009, New Jersey has the second lowest rate. Nevertheless, the constant reality is that divorce does happen regardless of where you are, what you believe in, or in whatever income bracket you come from.

Since its institutionalization in our society, marriage is a covenant that is meant to be forever. This has been the context and content, legally and spiritually, of marital relationships that the state and even religious groups have established and upheld. It is founded on the tenet that the two shall become one and just like a fairy tale, the married couple shall lived happily ever after. These underlying principles of marriage are seen to make the impact of divorce hard on both parties.

The best divorce lawyers in New Jersey realize that couples who were married for a very long time, regardless of the reason for the breakup, there is always some degree of difficulty in the annulment process. A mixed feeling of loneliness, hatred, indifference, and regret becomes evident. It is even worse, when there are little children caught between the dissociating parents.

Thus, there is a need to know how the impact of the marriage split will be lessened so that the legal process will move smoothly in legal and psychological aspects. The divorce lawyers of both parties may proceed with the legal procedures and will not give attention to the prevailing sentiments and emotions among the spouses. However, the rate and manner of the proceedings will be affected when emotions are not kept at bay.

The competence of the lawyer who is dealing with the divorce process must not only cover the legal aspect of the work. He must be able to confront his client on the rationality of every action or reaction that he or she makes. By rationality, it means not only identifying the presenting emotions but also determining what is causing them. It would be very hard for the estranging couple to agree on divorce matters like child custody, partitioning of properties and assets, debts, and many more, when the situation is overwhelmed by raging and rejecting feelings.

When couples discuss the prospect of divorce as an option for a better way of life between them, it provides a sense of anticipation of the forthcoming split up and its possible impact on them. Of course, this must be done in a very sober atmosphere and both need to be conscious where the discussion would lead.

When couples have finally decided to go on separate ways and they are resolved to file divorce proceedings, knowing the marriage and divorce law in the state of their residence would come in handy. Gaining information about provisions on property division, estate evaluation, custody, prenuptial agreements, and other divorce-related issues, purports to better understanding of what they are getting into. It also prevents any speculation and unnecessary argument between the spouses on these subject matters because the law has specific provisions on these.

Divorce will always leave hurt and resentment to the parties involved. Taking steps to lessen it would help diminish its effect, preparing emotionally the husband and wife until they are legally divorced.

The Real World of Alimony (Spousal Maintenance) Under Washington State Divorce Law

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Washington Divorce law views spousal maintenance on the basis of what is called the “economic partnership model”. However, it usually focuses on the length of the marriage. If the marriage is less than five years you very rarely get maintenance.

The only time I see maintenance/alimony awarded in marriages less than five years is where one party is unemployed or would end up on the street if their partner just left them. Even in those cases, the awarded at temporary orders reads something like: “The [husband/wife] shall pay to the wife maintenance in an amount of $500 for six months or until the wife secures full-time employment. If full-time employment has not been found in 6 months the [husband/wife] may petition the court for an extension but only for good cause shown.” I have written orders like that many many times. At the temporary orders stage the judge or commissioner makes his or her ruling and says “Counsel, Write up the Orders”. Tradition has it that the primarily prevailing party draws them up; although sometimes a lawyer much older than you will assume that he or she will do the honors. We then often times have to go back in and argue over them. But that is usually if the attorneys either don’t know each other or one is inexperienced. As lawyers we also sit in the back of the courtroom and wait for our case to be called. During that time we talk with other attorneys about their cases or watch how the judges and commissioners decide other cases in Family Court.

On the other hand marriages longer than 20 years almost always do involve some form of maintenance, or “evening out” of the income and assets over time. The goal of the Court in such long-term marriages is mainly to maintain the partys financial standing at the same level for a considerable time after the marriage.

Spousal maintenance in Washington has traditionally been defined by an oft-quoted (and legally cited) bar journal article by Judge Windsor. It has been cited in many Washington divorce Supreme court cases.

Recently, there has been discussion regarding a new metaphor. A recent (2006) Washington State Bar Journal article discusses the subject. Maintenance can be highly discretionary and the cases I have dealt with on appeal have been difficult to overturn. That is basically the general consensus: the Judge or Commissioner must have really, really screwed up before they overturn it. Yes, you are thinking the right thing: it is very important to win at the lower levels. Don’t sit back and comfort yourself that “If they make the wrong decision I can just appeal.” This is not tax or corporate law. There are fewer analytical rules to follow. And this is alimony in the real world.

Custody of Children after a Divorce

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Over the course of history women have been given custody of children after a divorce more often than men. This used to be seen almost as an automatic right. This has changed slightly in recent times though, with Fathers given significantly more rights when it comes to looking after children post-divorce. This applies to both custody and visitation rights if their ex-wife has been given custody. A Fathers role in the development of children is taken much more seriously than in previous times. Family Law states that Fathers have equal rights to Mothers and each decision should be made on its specific merits.

Statistics show that women get custody more than men though. What is the reason for this? It could be that there is still some bias towards women by judges, who assume that Mothers make better parents. On the other hand it could just be that Mothers tend to more often be in the position where the children living with them would be more appropriate.

After a divorce there are many factors that are taken into consideration when deciding which parent should get custody of the children. Each parents employment status can be a very important factor. If one parent works full-time and the other doesnt work at all, it may be deemed best that the children live with the parent who does not work. This is because (s)he has more time to be able to devote towards the children. This may be one reason why women gain custody more often than men; it is more common for women to be stay-at-home parents than men, although this is not as common as it once was. A decision is most likely to be based on this reason if the situation was the same when the couple were married, and this parent has spent more time with their children as a consequence. The decision can in some cases be made the other way round, with the parent who does work being deemed to be in a more financially stable situation. This is not always the case because this parent will usually be required to make maintenance payments to help the other parent bring up their children.

The situation each parent finds themselves in and the stability of this situation is also important. This can depends on employment as well as other factors, such as lifestyle. If one parent has medical or psychological problems, then they may not be deemed the best parent to bring up the children. If one parent has re-married it could work either way. It may be seen as a negative to have someone else playing a part in their upbringing so soon after their parents have separated, but it could also be decided that this is a better family environment to bring children up in. A criticism of the system is that too much of the decision comes down to the opinions of a particular judge, and no matter how much Family Law stipulates what should happen, everyone has certain biases.

Andrew Marshall (c)

Divorce Mediation Where to Get Help, Advice and Do-It-Yourself Forms

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Remember when …

Breaking up was easy

Okay, maybe it was never easy but it was sure easier than it is when you’ve got kids, mortgages and pension plans together!

Traditional Methods of Resolving Break-Ups:
Scenario 1

-Today, Traditional Methods of “Breaking-Up” typically mean hours and hours in Divorce Court and Tens of Thousands of Dollars in Attorneys Fees
Not to mention the Emotional Wreckage to Parents AND their children

-Outrageous Fees
Think about it – every time you have to go to court, that’s at least 2 hours of attorney time at $250 per hour
That’s $500 EACH party pays for each of 3-4 court appearances NOT including the final hearing

-But Wait – There’s More
So that’s 2 hours per court appearance times 4 court appearances = 8 hours + 8 hours for the final hearing (16 hours total)
Then, for every hour IN court there are probably 2 hours spent preparing for court (another 32 hours – that’s 48 total EACH)
$10,000+ (add to that fees paid to experts – experts about the children, about finances)

-Meanwhile …
You talk to your lawyer, who talks to the Judge, the other lawyer and the “experts”
The former “love-of-your-life” talks to their lawyer, who talks to the Judge, the other lawyer and the “experts”
The Judge, who has known you for all of a day (maybe) determines your fate and your children’s fate
Oh, and notice who aren’t talking to one another – the only two adults who aren’t being paid to be there – the only two who are ultimately responsible for the children

Scenario 2
-Do-It-Yourself Method
The forms aren’t the easiest things to fill out
If you slip up and fail to properly define something or forget to put something in the paperwork – Guess What?!?
Do Not Pass Go – Go straight back to Scenario 1(you’d be shocked how often this happens)

Is there any other way?

Yes
The Petovero Method(TM)
Divorce and Child Custody Resolutions
made easy

We use a unique process that includes mediation and that deals with all the aspects a person has to contend with when there are children, or assets, or debts involved

We focus on results while generating an environment that reduces the impact on the parties, and, perhaps more importantly, on the children

There’s an old saying: Criminal Lawyers See Bad People at their Best and Divorce Lawyers See Good People at their Worst.

We help good people invent a new life, that nurtures them and their children and facilitates the return of productivity, fun and play.
Go to petovero.com for more information

PETOVERO.COM

Contested Divorce in Thailand Ending a Marriage under Thai Law

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Under section 1501 of the Thai Commercial and Civil Code a marriage in Thailand can be terminated by one of three different methods.

1. Death of a spouse
2. Cancellation by Court
3. Divorce

1. Death
The death of one of spouse is easy to understand.

2. Cancellation By Court
Approaching the Court in Thailand to cancel a marriage is not frequently brought into being. It is only in special cases with extremely good reason that the Court can be approached to cancel a marriage. This is eligible in circumstances where the plaintiff becomes aware of facts or factors relating to the marriage or the defendant that he or she was not aware of before the marriage. The facts or factors need to be of such nature that the plaintive would not get married if he or she were aware of these particulars before the marriage.

When the Court cancel a marriage it is not regarded as a divorce and it is considered that the marriage never took place.

3. Divorce
According to Thai Law, there is no differentiation between Thai nationals and foreign persons. Not considering a persons nationality, under Thailand Law, all inhabitants are acted towards in the same way.

Two forms of divorce can be obtained in Thailand:
1. Contested divorce
2. Uncontested divorce

Contested Divorce
A contested divorce can be requested by one of the parties for one or more of the following reasons that you will found under section 1516 of the Thai Commercial and Civil Code:
A different female is awarded status and is maintained as the wife of the husband and/or adultery is committed by one spouse
One of the two parties to the marriage has committed a crime and is found guilty or other form of misconduct.
One of the two parties have caused severe mental, emotional and or physical injury to the other party or have severely affronted the other party and or one or more of this parties family.
One of the parties to the marriage has forsaken his marriage party for a period that exceed one year.
One of the parties to the marriage has been sentenced to a prison term by Court and has been in prison for longer than a 12 month period, provided that the plaintive is not guilty of any involvement, approval or aware of the crime or misconduct of the defendant. Moreover that should the parties remain married and live together the plaintive will suffer undue harm or tribulation
Both parties, out of own accord does not live together any more for a period longer than 3 consecutive years.
One of the parties to the marriage are believed to gone astray, and or left the mutual residence for longer than three years. In addition it is not ascertainable if the person is still alive.
Be deficient in maintaining a marriage.
One of the parties has been declared to be in poor mental health for more than three consecutive years with no prospect of recovery.
One of the parties has failed to remain committed to the bond of good behavior.
One of the parties is be diagnosed with a transmissible and contagious hazardous illness which is not curable and that can result in harm to the other party.
One of the parties are affected by a physical impairment to such an effect that it is not possible to enduringly live together as husband and wife.

The Procedure for a contested Divorce:

1. A petition must be filed at the Court
2. Where claims of monetary compensation are applicable (like getting back 50% of the “common” or “marital property” called “Sin Somros” in Thai) a deposit of 2% of the value of the claim must be paid to the Court.
3. If the ruling is made in your favor, judgment can be made that the other party must pay back the deposit.
4. In the event where children were born out of the marriage, you will first have to go trough juvenile division proceedings that will provide the court with a report in this regard.
5. When parties can not agree during the negotiation session in Court, a trial date will be set.
6. The burden of proof is on the plaintiff and the plaintiff must be present during proceedings. Should the defendant do not attend, only the evidence presented by the plaintiff will be taking into consideration.
7. This process can take between 3 to 12 months in normal circumstances. That doesnt include appeals.

There are 3 main tasks that the Court will:

A) Verify is there is enough evidence about the ground. If not, the Court wont grant a divorce and it will stop.
B) If there is enough evidence to divorce, the Court will decide about the children of the couple. If there arent any children, then it goes to next step. The Court will rule according to the best interest of the children.
C) The Court will separate the common property between spouses in 50-50%. In cases where adultery is the ground, a Thai court can also allows damages to be paid if damages are claimed to the Court.
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