So often we hear about how high the rate of divorce is in both the United Kingdom and the United States. Divorces can be emotional, time consuming, and expensive affairs. More than ever, couples are being encouraged to use mediation services in order to solve their difficulties, in order to avoid all the difficulties of a divorce.
When emotions are running high and couples don’t know how they can possibly make things work anymore, divorce can seem like the only way out. Communication is the key to all good relationships and when communication breaks down, relationships tend to break down too. Mediation services are great because they teach you how to talk to each other about how you’re feeling in an open and honest fashion.
It can be difficult to talk about our feelings, even to those who are closest to us. Having difficult conversations can be uncomfortable, and sometimes we need a helping hand. Despite the fact we are arguing with our partner, we generally don’t like upsetting other people.
Conflicts between loved ones can be particularly difficult to handle because relationships are so steeped in history. Mediation is future focused, so an independent mediator will attempt to move the relationship forwards rather than allowing the couple to dwell on past events. Bringing up old arguments and past mistakes does not resolve anything and is no basis for a healthy relationship.
This is one fundamental way in which mediation and divorce differ. Divorce courts do not accept ‘irreconcilable differences’ as a valid reason for couples wanting to split up. They instead insist that fault is blamed on one of the parties involved. This is perhaps why mediation is becoming such a popular option for arguing couples. Divorce is not as simple as one person being wrong and the other right; it is infinitely more complicated than that.
If children are involved, then mediation could be useful for a couple as well. If talking about your differences doesn’t solve them, it could at least bring some civility to proceedings. If you still decide to divorce then it is best to do so in a civil manner, so the children are not left feeling anymore confused and upset than they need to be. Deciding on how often children are to be seen and who stays with who is another big issue when it comes to divorce, and it is better if this can be settled outside of the divorce courts in order to avoid as much distress as is possible.
Ultimately, divorce sometimes is the only option for some couples. However, it is certainly better to do everything in your power to attempt to reconcile the relationship outside of the court room to begin with.